I can’t breath…even when there is an unlimited supply of air surrounding me. All the stress sickens my stomach making me throw up my thoughts and feelings that I have tried to keep swallowed down.
The hands shake. The fingers go numb. The head pounds. The chest aches.
It hurts to breath, and the times that I can actually get air into my lungs I’m hyperventilating; breathing too fast to clasp at any oxygen. And the world around me slowly fades to black, and the world around me becomes quiet and I only hear the thoughts torturing in my mind.
I am fighting myself. My sane and logical mind vs. my impulsive demonic mind. Who wins when you fight yourself? Which mind wins dies when the other dies? Who walks away…The good or the bad. Something now and forever will be missing from me.
I can’t breath…
The hands shake. The fingers go numb. The head pounds. The chest aches. And my world fades into the darkness in my mind. Leaving me alone in my thoughts…and the cycle all starts over again and again.