Thoughts put into words…

by Katie Lanning (Dreamynothing)

Are You Afraid? (of Death) 12/21/2012

Filed under: Writings — dreamynothing @ 02:59

With all the talk about the end of the world coming tomorrow, it makes one think.

If death knocked on your door, and stood waiting at your doorstep with his hand extended…would you be ready?  would you regret anything?  would you be afraid?

Personally, I’m not afraid of death.  I’m not afraid to die, I’m not afraid to take that step forward to leave this world and most likely not even hesitated to ever look back.

Why?

Well, do you ever have that feeling of when you wake up that you just wish you were back asleep? To me death is like sleeping.  The only difference is that there are no dreams.  No second reality where you can live out another version of your life.

No nightmares.  No fantasies.

…Nothing…

Sounds peaceful to me.

I’m not afraid of death, or of dying.  But I am afraid.  I’m afraid of missing life.  I’m afraid of missing the opportunities to make mistakes and having regrets.  I’m afraid of missing the small things that happen during the day that make you smile for no particular reason.  I’m afraid of missing both the happiness and the sadness together.

But most of all…I’m afraid that I will not be missed…that I will be the only one missing out.

So I’m living.  I’m ready to make a lot of mistakes and wrong turns.  I’m ready to break into a dance in the house in my bare feet, to watch a hot air balloon float away into the unknown sky, to stand outside with my tongue out catching the first snowflakes to hit the ground this winter.  I’m ready to deal with the good days, full of laughter, happiness, and love.  I’m ready to cope through the days where just getting out of bed is the hardest obstacle to conquer; to tackle the demons deep in me and my mind; and to face the downfalls that come from day to day living.

Even tho I’m pretty sure the end of the world is not coming.  I’m ready.

Because when death does finally come knocking on my door, with his hand reaching out to me waiting on the doorstep.  I will take his hand.  I will be ready because I know I will be missed and will not be  missing out anymore because I lived.  I will regret much, but will also know I only have regrets is because I lived.  And no, I will not be afraid because I lived.

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One Response to “Are You Afraid? (of Death)”

  1. MG Says:

    Sorry I just remembered that I told you I’d check this out and I never got around to it. Crazy with the holidays and all. There’s some good thoughts on the blog. Keep writing feelings and thoughts out because thats an awesome way to vent and decompress!


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