Down the rabbit hole—I fall faster than the force of gravity. Never hitting the ground; never seeing an end. Faster and faster, the wind keeps the hair from my face and I feel the thrill of the speed increasing as the tempo of my heartbeat starts skipping. There’s nothing to grab onto, and further down the darker it gets—the more scared I get.
How did I fall? Where does this end? Will I survive?
Memories flee from my mind and I catch glimpses of both good and bad. The winning serve. The proposal. The breakup. The suicide attempt. All encircle around my mind then leave one by one. Only problem is the bad memories stay; it’s only the good memories that leave my head. Suddenly, I’m drowning in my own pessimistic thoughts.
I’m falling and suddenly I’m wanting it to end. I no longer want this feeling of helplessness and memories of bad moments in my life. I’m ready for the crash. I’m ready to end this fall—give into gravity. I no longer care about what’s at the end. I no longer care if I will survive. I just want it all to stop.
Someone please catch me. Carry me back to the world I’m used to. Send me back to the smiles and the laughter. Take me away from all the hurt, all the pain, all the remorse. I want to fly. Not fall. No one can catch me anymore—I’m too far down. It’s too late.
Down the rabbit hole- the world I end up in may not be the world I started in.